Wife Mother Runner life lessons Archives - Page 8 of 9

What Is Your Dream?

May 29, 2014

download This question has been in my mind for the past several weeks. I don’t recall how the topic came up but it had been a question I am asking myself and I also asked my husband to think about it as well.

Do you have a dream? At first I wondered if I had one specific dream, then as I thought about it I believe I have two. The first is to run the Boston marathon. I want to qualify for it but that may be too big of a stretch for me. As I have been running the past year, my average marathon finish time is at best 5:38. In order to qualify for Boston I have to take over an hour off of my time. That just might not be possible for me. I know if you want something bad enough you can do it, but I am also a realist and know my body’s limitations. I am prone to injury. So since the dream is to run it, if I run with a charity bib I will still be happy to be part of the event. I haven’t given up on that dream, but I am reconsidering my options. Fundraising for it will not be an easy task either.

While on our vacation, I was out on a run and my husband met a family at the hot tub from New Jersey. They recently moved to Florida. They told him it was a big decision to make the move but it is one they don’t regret. They were about the same age as us and moved when their children were 6 and 7. The kids adapted great and the schools are very good. They are in Stuart, Florida. My husband told me about them and I met them later that morning. After talking with them, my husband and I talked and I told him that meeting them ties right in with the question I have been pondering for a while. What if?

For several days we kept talking about it, what if this and what if that. We even went as far as to looking at houses in a few areas where I have friends. My dream is to find a job that I love in a place that I love. It’s no surprise that I love Disney. I have several friends and many runDisney acquaintances who also love Disney. I just leaned a few days ago that one of those acquaintances just accepted a job at Disney. What a coincidence. It definitely sparked an interest for me. I did some research online and saw a few job postings that are a good fit for me. What a huge what if. I reached out to her and asked her all of my questions, and she gladly answered them. It’s so exciting to hear about her experience.

But hey, maybe this is something to really think about and throw out to the universe to see if it is meant to happen. Doesn’t mean I have to take a job, it doesn’t even mean I would get a job, but it doesn’t mean I shouldn’t try. You never know unless you try. Following the theme about dreams coming true, I saw this show at the Magic Kingdom and had to get some video of it. It was so appropriate for the thoughts that were running through our heads.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yum6dj1OnSI&w=420&h=315]

What is your dream?

Why Mother’s Day Is Special To Me

May 11, 2014

Mother’s Day is a special holiday for me. I couldn’t wait to be a mother, but that wasn’t easy for me. When my husband and I got married in 2002, I got sick. It took a long time to figure out what was wrong with me. Eventually, when we learned that I had kidney vasculitis, I had to take chemo-type medication and was told that our dream of trying to get pregnant had to be put on hold. I was devastated.

After many years of trying to get my disease under control, different medications, steroids, 2 kidney biopsies and lots of prednisone, my disease quieted down. Five years later, I pursued my quest to start our family. But that wasn’t easy either. We couldn’t get pregnant. So with the help of the UCONN Fertility Center, I was able to become a mother, twice!

So I love Mother’s Day. Especially now that my son, age 6 and daughter, age 5 make projects at school and secretly share with my husband that they have a surprise for me and can’t wait to give them to me. That is so precious and these are the gifts that are priceless! Everyday, I use the jewelry box that Adrienne made me last year.

This year I was able to enjoy the Mother’s Day Tea at Adrienne’s school (we are usually in Florida on Mother’s Day) and enjoy her little singing presentation and gift. Once again I received a priceless trinket box that Adrienne proudly presented to me at her school.

I also love that Mother’s Day is a time to celebrate the grandmothers. I am so happy that I was able to make my mother a grandmother. I remember the day when I told her I was pregnant. I couldn’t wait to tell her! I had wanted that for sooo long! She loves her grandbabies and my kids LOVE spending time with her! My mother-in-law is also happy to have more grandbabies from her youngest son. It’s so awesome to give my kids the memories of time spent with their grandparents. I remember and cherish my memories of my grandparents. They are special memories.

I love being a mom! Some days it isn’t easy and some days there is no effort at all, but I love all the days that I have with my children. I remember vividly when I came home from the hospital with my son and my milk came in and my body was doing things I never knew it was going to do. What an overwhelming time that was! But with the help of my mom and my husband I got through it.

After my daughter was born, I struggled with postpartum depression. I didn’t really know I had it at the time, I thought I was just overwhelmed and hormonal with a newborn and a 16-month old very active little boy. But I got help and now I see the change in me and I feel that I am a much better mother. I was a good mother at the time, but I really struggled. I am feeling more confident as a parent now that they are getting older. I am seeing them maturing and making wise choices. I love how people comment on how much my son and daughter love each other. It makes me proud to know that we are raising them right!

I can’t imagine life without them now. I vaguely remember what life was like before them, but I would much rather live with these little amazing kids in my life who teach me something every day. They make me very proud. There is no manual that comes with being a mom. I call out to my mom often for advice and recommendations, and I use her model from raising us as part of how I raise my children.

My cousin sent me this awesome card the other day and I was so touched. I guess I am doing something right!

I try every day to be a good role model to my children. Many times I will hear them say something and it is a carbon copy of something I say to them! (Sometimes good, sometimes not! lol). When I go out for a run, my daughter likes to put on her “workout clothes” and sneakers and pretend she is going out for a run. I tried taking them for a run with me once. We will need to work on that. I enjoy seeing them watching me and seeing my positive habits as something that is part of my lifestyle and will help them live a healthier lifestyle also.

They also enjoy when I go away on race trips with my friends. They mostly like it because they get an exclusive weekend with their dad who they don’t get to see as much as me. I hope I am teaching them about friendships and how it is good to have friends and support friends and how friends can support you with your goals and endeavors. When I did the Walt Disney World marathon this year I explained to them that I was helping a friend reach a goal and sometimes it isn’t about getting your best race finish time, but helping someone else achieve something they worked hard for. Then for the Providence marathon, a friend helped me achieve my best race time. I like how I can take my personal experiences and turn them into life lessons for them.

Happy Mother’s Day!

You Sometimes Have to Fail To Succeed

April 19, 2014

Have you ever been fired from a job? Have you ever not finished a race? Did you flunk out of a class? Have you ever had a business fail? I have experienced several of these situations. I was once fired from a job that I went to college to study for. I did open a business that I had to close because it was not making the money I had hoped for in this state. I have failed, but I don’t consider these things failures. I consider them learning experiences. Yea when they happen to you they seem like the crappiest things you can go through, but in reality they are building your character and making you see how strong you really are.

When I lost my job as a legal secretary at a very big law firm in Hartford, I thought I would never go anywhere in life, but I was fortunate to be hired back from the employer I left (who I still work for now). I had to start over in a different capacity there, but I moved into new positions and learned new things and ended up going back to school and got a B.S. in Computer Science with a specialization in web design. And I am much happier doing this creative type of work than filling in forms and pushing paper in a law firm.

I also took a risk and opened a business in 2005. I learned so much about how to open a business, the laws, the taxes, the fees associated with running a business and how you can’t make money when you own your own business. At least not in the way we ran the business. While it was a stressful time and a difficult decision to close the business 4 years later, it was a smart decision. Looking back, it still stings when we think about what we went through; but I do know that I have learned so much and can say that I was a business owner in my lifetime. I dealt with all of the aspects of owning a business from the finances, to payroll, maintenance, marketing, hiring personnel, purchasing and sales.

When it comes to the sport of running, I can say I have had failures. They haven’t come in the form of a DNF, but they have come in injuries from doing too much too soon. I have learned from some of my friends. My friend Laurel Moffit attempted to the Dopey Challenge in 2013 and was unable to finish the full marathon. She wrote a blog post about it at www.penniestoyennies.com after waiting several months after the event because she needed to process everything that happened to her. I am always writing about successes and goals and wishes, but there is something that we have to deal with when setting goals and attempting to raise the bar to harder and harder achievements. There are times where we are going to fail. And that’s totally OK.

I read Laurel’s blog again and how she admitted to being sore and under trained and cried when she had to be picked up the sweeper bus. But she also realized that she didn’t succeed because she didn’t put the time in that is needed for such a challenge. She took what she learned from that experience and spent most of 2013 training for the 2014 Goofy Challenge.

I have another friend who was a victim of the sweeper bus for the marathon in 2013. She also blogged about it and I found reading their articles were more helpful to me than reading articles from people who succeeded because I can learn from their failures and things they did wrong and also get inspiration from them; because both of those friends didn’t give up. They picked themselves up and tried again next year!

I have written about my other podcast that I listen to called Laugh or Go Crazy and they talked about redefining failure. It was great to hear a perspective that if you didn’t have a day where you failed then you aren’t succeeding because you aren’t learning from your failures.

Why are we so hard on ourselves when we fail?

Here’s what I know about failure. If you always do everything right and don’t fail, chances are you aren’t trying very hard. Failure does build character, and you should try new things. You can succeed in trying. I say this time and time again to my children. NEVER GIVE UP. They know it. My son was having a hard time with baseball and was throwing a fit in the driveway last weekend but I told him to NEVER GIVE UP. You may not catch every ball, but no one can.

I am registered for the Dopey challenge in 2015 which is 4 races in 4 days covering a 5K, 10K, half marathon and marathon. I hope I don’t fail at this major commitment I signed up for. I will be confident in my training. I WILL train. And if by chance I don’t finish, the experience of trying and working towards it is almost as good as the race weekend. Not quite as good, but almost.

Do You Have A Bucket List?

April 2, 2014

The term bucket list used to annoy me, but it is the best way to describe the things that you wish to do in life one day. I was thinking about this today when I went to the Ragnar site to see when they were holding their races near me. Then it occured to me. This is something I should put on my bucket list. Then I got to thinking, what else is there that I would like to do but haven’t really pursued yet. I do want to do a biathlon which is a run, bike, run race. There was one in Madison for the past few years but I can’t find it now to register for it. Do I want to do a triathalon? Iron Man? No, I don’t believe Iron Man will be in my future, but I think I want to stetch myself a little and try a bike-type race.

I had a wow moment last night when I realized that I had registered for another marathon this year. After I did my first marathon, the question was, is this a one and done? But no, I signed up for the next Disney World marathon for the following year. Once that was over I wanted another, and now I have three this year. So that’s kind of cool to me to see that I am expanding my experience and training to do multiple marathons per year. My marathon training used to be something I only did in the fall, now it’s more of a September through May event.

I am doing my first 10K in Connecticut this spring. I need to gain a fast time with a 10K so I can submit it for better corral placement at the Disney races for the 10Ks. This is a race that I will to continue to improve upon throughout the year so I can submit faster times for each 10K. These races are required for the Dumbo Double Dare, the Minnie 10K in January and the Princess Glass Slipper Challenge in February.

I’ll have to put more thought into what I may want to add to my bucket list.

Do you have a bucket list?

Everyone has a story…. my sister’s story

March 4, 2014

My sister is seven years younger than me. Two years ago she went through something very difficult that I feel has changed the way she looks at life and approaches challenges that comes her way. She was diagnosed with oral cancer. This is not common for someone her age. She didn’t fit the criteria for someone to have oral cancer. It wasn’t fair. But is cancer ever fair? It was difficult for all of us to hear of her diagnosis. She was a mom of two boys, her youngest just six months old and her oldest was two. She had to have surgery to remove a large portion of her tongue, then a month later had to have 29 lymph nodes removed. This hasn’t slowed down her talking though! If you didn’t know her, you wouldn’t know she had to have that surgery, except for the scar on her neck. I don’t know how she feels about her scar, but when I see it I am grateful that she came through this with a great outcome.

It took her a while to write it all out, but she has written about her story in her own blog.

Sadly it seems like we all know someone close to us who has been faced with the challenge of fighting cancer. Hopefully, it has a positive ending and life-changing affect in a positive way.

I love you little sis!

Planning my Year for 2014

March 2, 2014

So I have two significant race weekends under my belt, and the Disney Marathon and Princess Glass Slipper Challenge. Those are two big race weekends for me. Now I am focusing on my local races. I hired Jeff Galloway to be my e-coach and I am now working towards my plan for the Providence Marathon on May 3.

Mentally, I am struggling. I don’t feel like I just did a half marathon last weekend because IT WAS SO MUCH FUN! However, I did so I need to do as Jeff says and start working my with my conscious brain to tell my subconscious brain that I can do this. On the plan is a 17 mile run this weekend. I feel like I just had a set of long runs when I was training for the full marathon. But that was really a long time ago because it was back in November and December when I was ramping up the miles. So this is the part of the training that takes more mental work than physical. I have to believe in myself that I can prepare for this race. Even though it is soon after my January marathon.

Back in the day I NEVER thought I would really do a marathon, and now here I am preparing for another one within the same year as doing my second one. I am looking forward to working with Jeff and I know that he is going to help me achieve this goal and help me set my future goals without getting injured and I have to trust him and LISTEN to what he recommends for my intervals.

My future goals are to finish the Providence full with a decent time, to work towards training for Dopey for 2015 (YIKES), and MAYBE, just maybe to qualify for Boston one day. I don’t know when that day will be, but I’d like to get some more marathons under my belt to see what my potential is to reducing my times to prepare for a goal like that.

Do you have goals for 2014? Do you have fears?

Birthing Your Talent Baby

February 9, 2014

That sounds like a crazy title huh? Well I like to listen to podcasts, especially when I am running or at work. I listen to one called Laugh or Go Crazy. One episode I listened to recently was called “Guilty Pleasures”. Steve and Michele were talking about a friend who had a talent and decided to make a business out of his talent of remodeling. Do you like to paint, knit, sew, take pictures or bake? Do you do any of the things you like or does life get in your way?

Think about what brings your joy and start doing that thing. You don’t have to do it and turn it into a business, but start doing the things that bring you joy. Set aside some time during your day or week or weekend to dedicate to that one thing.

I know that my mother enjoys sewing, quilting and knitting, and as she is getting close to the end of her career and will be retiring in June, she has started to do more of the things that she enjoys and started putting together these great items to start selling them at craft fairs after she retires.

Check out more great podcasts from Laugh or Go Crazy or visit their facebook page.

What brings you joy?

Random Acts of Kindness

February 5, 2014

I went to my mailbox yesterday and there was a surprise in there for me. I saw the address of where it was from and couldn’t imagine why I was getting mail from her. I opened it up and found this!

It totally made my day! My friend Shannon is someone I knew since I was a teenager. She moved away and then I found her through another friend on Facebook in 2008. What an amazing thing social media is. We both have 2 young children and love running. We have busy lives but we stay in touch with each other every day. We try to meet up when I come down to Florida for the races and saw each other briefly during marathon weekend this past January, but it wasn’t long enough!

Friends are so great to have! I didn’t realize how much I mean to her so I am so glad she took a minute to find that card and send it along my way! Something as little as mailing a card to someone can really add to their day. Take some time to do something nice for someone! You have no idea how much it can help them.

Has anyone done a random act of kindness for you lately? Have you done something for someone else? If not, do you plan to?

One Word Resolution…

January 26, 2014

I love to listen to pod casts when I run. This weekend I needed to be out on my walk/run because I needed my peaceful time to myself. It was a grey, cold, windy morning. Normally, people would prefer to be cuddled up on the couch with their coffee in a warm home. Normal people do. I wanted to get outside. The temp was 25 degrees, a heat wave compared to the 10-15 degree temps we have been dealing with this week.

I started my walk with a mile or just walking to warm up my body and my legs. They are still recovering from marathon weekend. I was listening to the Two Gomers Run For their lives podcast season 6 episode 8 (link to podcast). They have been a favorite of mine and they are now working on a goal to do a full triathlon. They are just 2 dads, normal guys, who are working towards goals of living a healthier life and becoming more active. They have gone from running their first half, to their first full, to a sub 5 hour marathon, and now they are venturing into the triathlon world. They are funny. I was enjoying my time alone, laughing with (and at) the Gomers and learning as I go.

Every year for New Years, they talk about a one word resolution. I typically don’t play along with this, but a word came to me that I thought was appropriate for what I have been going through lately. So I am going to apply it to my year this year. The word is GROW. I am going to work on growing my running skills, my blog, my friendships, my work, my web design, and my creativity.

It was a rewarding, healing walk/run and I am looking forward to more growing time with myself to spark more creativity and new ideas!

Some of my other favorite pod casts are:

Another Mother Runner
Mickey Miles Podcast
Laugh or Go Crazy
The DIS Unplugged
Mouse Chat
WDW Today

What are your favorite pod casts? Do you have a one word resolution for 2014?

Everyone has a story… My story

January 21, 2014

My running story begins when I started running in 2002. It was the year I got married. At the time I started running I had been undergoing tests and multiple doctor visits, skin biopsies and an upcoming kidney biopsy to determine why I had petechia on my lower legs and feet and blood and protein in my urine. Prior to my kidney biopsy we learned that my grandfather had lung cancer and he was hospitalized quickly. He passed away very quickly after his diagnosis and hospitalization. I believe that he knew that at the age of 90 he wasn’t going to fight the fight of cancer. I had to have my kidney biopsy the week after his funeral. I had a lot of stress so I decided to visit the Woodbridge Running Store and get fitted for a proper pair of running shoes. I needed an outlet for my new stresses.

I began running on the treadmill. I had to take a brief pause in my new hobby because of my kidney biopsy. But once I was cleared to run again I continued on. That year, my boss at the time, was running the New York City marathon. I was fascinated by this. I guess I can say I was a little in awe about it. On the day of her marathon I watched it on TV and decided to lace up my sneakers and run it with her virtually. I turned the race on the TV downstairs and ran on the treadmill for 9 miles. That was the longest I had ever run. I think deep in the back of my mind I knew that I wanted to run a marathon and maybe I would.

That year I had to be put on a chemotherapy-like immunosuppresant drug and a high dose of steroids to try to knock this mysterious illness out of my body and reduce the inflammation in my kidneys. I was not happy to be on the steroids and I did gain weight being on it which also bothered me. I ran on the treadmill to try to reduce the weight gain, but if you have ever been on steroids for a long period of time, you will know you can’t really do much to eliminate the weight gain.

I was totally stressed and overwhelmed by this mysterious illness and course of treatment and at the time, being newly married, my husband and I wanted to start a family. However, in September when I was told that I had to go on these drugs I was also told that our dream to start a family had to be put on hold for an undetermined amount of time. I was not happy. I was devastated. We were devastated. I needed an outlet. After a few years of being on different immunosuppresants and on and off doses of steroids I continued to run on the treadmill at our house. I never ran outside.

I had to have one more kidney biopsy in 2005 and my diagnosis was confirmed as Henoch Schonlein Purpura, a disease that usually strikes children when they are put on antibiotics for strep and clears up on its own. I was in my early 30s at the time of my diagnosis. Because I had this disease and my kidneys were affected by vasculitis (inflammation of the small blood vessels), I would have to be on medication until I could stay off of it without getting petechia on my legs or feet.

After five years of treatment I finally had the chance to try to get pregnant. But ironically the decision was to try while taking the medication that I was told five years earlier wasn’t safe to take while trying to get pregnant. We met with several researchers and learned about the risks of taking the drug while pregnant and made our decision to proceed. However, that didn’t go as easy as planned. After several months of trying, we learned that I couldn’t get pregnant on my own. We needed help. I met the great staff at the UCONN fertility group and they helped us conceive our son. This was also a stressful time of multiple doctor visits, tests (some uncomfortable), MANY blood tests and a LOT of waiting. We had gone through all of this alone while not telling our families. We wanted to surprise them when we did finally get pregnant. We gave birth to our son on June 7, 2007.

After he was born I resumed my working out on the treadmill with walking and took him for walks in the stroller in my neighborhood. Then once cleared I resumed running again on the treadmill downstairs while he was in the baby chair or napping. It felt good to run again and helped me lose the pregnancy weight. I kept up with this until it was time to try for our second child. Once again we needed help and Adrienne was born 16 months after Kevin on October 13, 2008. During my pregnancy with her I was much more active. I took walks with Kevin in the stroller pretty much up to the week before having Adrienne. Then when she was born I was out with my husband and my son hiking in the park near our house. I enjoy being active.

I suffered post partum with Adrienne but didn’t realize that I was going through it. I honestly think I suffered with it for 4 years after she was born until I finally got some help in 2013.

My running for races and outdoor running began in the summer of 2011. On vacation I started to jog up in New Hampshire and was hooked when I got back home. I wanted to do a 5K before my 40th birthday. And to summarize I have done several 5Ks, at least 8 half marathons, 10ks and now 2 full marathons.

My parents were at the finish line of my marathon this year and were so proud of me. I enjoyed knowing they were going to be there when I crossed the line to see me accomplish my dream again. Being a parent myself I now understand how they felt seeing me cross the line with a friend in need rather than cross the line to get my best finish time. As a parent I look forward to watching my children at their races or sporting events with the same feeling of pride.

The picture my dad took at the finish line.

Stay tuned for the stories of Alison and Gail in my upcoming posts.

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